she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
