He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
