Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
