yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
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just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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