this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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