i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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