did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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