We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
