So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
