If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
