I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
