the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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