when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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