Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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