so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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