i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
