Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
