Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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