We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
