dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
