Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you would pick up someone in the library
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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