So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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