We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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