I wanna bring you to show and tell
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
