I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they're like a gay fantastic four
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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