he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
