Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
