does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize