and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
