Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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