You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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