I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
