so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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