Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he puts the penis in happiness.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
