Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
