I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's blow job season.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
