Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just google imaged poop.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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