you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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