How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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