we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
