I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize