Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
