I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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