Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
