i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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