IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
