nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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