Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this will be a night to untag.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
