It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
