you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
