That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
