Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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