I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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