giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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