Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
