we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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