i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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