need another drink. this is the easiest way
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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