My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.