i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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