eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this just has baby written all over it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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