writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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