so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
